How To Be Rested, Rejuvenated & Content
A Question?
When was the last time you did something JUST FOR YOU?
Something decadent and delicious or relaxing and rejuvenating…
Without any guilt? Be honest…
Here’s the deal in a nutshell, most women do, do, do for others and because there is only 24 hours in a day, they allow their self-care to fall down their own priority list. Women are wired to nurture and think of others, and this is a beyond wonderful trait, but it can become a problem both physically and mentally when they push aside the practice of exquisite self-care.
I used to push, push, push – do, do, do for everyone at the expense of my own needs. As you probably already have guessed, I have a Type A personality (surprise, surprise) and left to my own devices I will totally burn myself out trying to be everything and do everything for EVERYONE. It comes from a pure place of love and wanting to see everyone be happy!!!
I used to think that the more I did for others, the more they would do for me. I didn’t honor my needs or my time; I gave it all away like it had no value to those around me in the hopes that when I needed them (whomever), they would reciprocate… well when the world didn’t drop everything it was doing to be of service to me and my needs, something interesting happened… I became resentful and pinched up.
I still get a pang of shame in admitting that… resentful is sooo not a spiritual vibe, but alas it is my truth, and I want to share my entire self with you – the beauty and the warts.
Generally speaking – people value what you teach them has value. So, if you put value on your time, opinion and self-care, others will begin to value those things about you too. I spent many years screaming my head off DEMANDING respect for my time and opinions … that brought me nothing but arguments, bad feelings and of course the dreaded low vibration. It was when I began the practice of honoring myself and not needing anyone to understand why that things totally transformed.
People learn how to treat YOU by the way they see YOU treating YOU!
You can talk until your face turns blue, and if you don’t walk your talk, others will feel the in-congruence. I want to share with you one of my best practices for living an empowered goddess lifestyle, I made a quick video about it a few years back, and you can check it out here.
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Lisa, thank you for modeling recovery from over-giving and true self care. I really learn from reading your writing.
Thank you Chara, knowing my work serves you makes my soul smile sister <3
Something Selfish……….something selfish………something selfish…..yes, I like this assignment!!!! I do believe leaving work an hour early and getting a pedicure is in my future ~ the mirror-mirror on the wall just told me so!!! Thanks 🙂
In all seriousness, this is so true. My family has ‘just’ started to see that in practicing placing myself first, they’ve stopped calling me selfish and started saying “man is she getting a lot done for us’ It is an art ~ i’m not the best at it…………yet!
Self Care is a practice my lovely friend. Little by little it will integrate into your BEing if that is what you desire!
Thank you Lisa, this is all too true. As women we often put others first and in my case not because I was/am Type A, but because I’m a Mom and that’s kind-of a ‘requirement’ when they can’t do things for themselves. In a recent blog that I wrote about attaching labels to ourselves, I reiterated a saying that we have in my home country – that is “you teach people how to treat you”. It’s supposed to be aimed at intimate relationships, in theory it applies to all relationships. So I’m fully on board with your assignment; I got to make it count though so I’m going to see what manifests for me. Thanks!
You are most welcome Kara. Every little step counts… gentle with yourself and simply begin to treat yourself in the way you would treat your beloveds. Blessings to you!