Is A Limiting Belief About Your Sexuality Blocking You From Manifesting Your Goddess Life?
There is one thing that has become painfully obvious to me over the years… it’s that every girl has had something stolen from her or squashed within her during her life.
Do you know what that “thing” is?
It’s her erotic creature … her sexuality.
The thieves come to us in the form of parents, society, religious dogma, intimate partners and from the media. Sometimes it’s grand larceny… a devastating act that happens all at once, and sometimes it’s a little piece at a time … chipping away from our feminine essence until there’s nothing left but an extinguished soul full of shame and guilt.
The scenarios are all different, but the underlying message is the same. Good girls don’t do that… wear that… behave like that, etc.
And down deep inside we all want to be good girls, don’t we?
Our desire to be good girls puts us in a self-imposed prison that holds us hostage until we become liberated.
Sadly most women never have the courage or the resources to break free.
A Former Limiting Belief About Myself Was Born Like This…
I was ten years old and I had long, beautiful, thick, healthy, dark brown hair that flowed down my back to my tooshie. I had a friend named Kim that lived around the corner and on that fateful day, I skipped around the corner to her house and rang the bell.
Kim’s mom Judy answered the door and I asked for Kim. Judy told me that Kim wasn’t home, so I turned on my heels and began walking down the backstairs to head back home.
Kim’s mom called out to me, “Lisa” … so I turned and looked at her. What she said to me next impacted my life for the next 25 years. She said, “You know Lisa, you’re very short and that long hair makes you look dumpy, you really should cut it.”
At first the words didn’t sink in, but as I walked home I felt myself becoming self-conscious of my “dumpy” body. Over the next few days my discomfort and insecurity grew and I began hating my long hair and insisted on having it all cut off!
I remember thinking to myself… if I got rid of all this hair, I wouldn’t look so dumpy and unattractive… this was the first offense to my sexuality and feminine beauty that I can recall to date with my conscious mind.
In an instant a limiting belief was planted in my head by an unkind woman, took root and affected my behavior until I was 35 years old!
All those years I simply could NOT allow my hair grow past my shoulders! I want you to know that it wasn’t a conscious thought… I had NO IDEA why until I began doing my Inner Goddess work.
And that’s exactly how we develop glass ceilings that hold us captive from what we truly desire – toxic thoughts and limiting beliefs floating in our subconscious mind.
Now I invite you to think about your life … what was said or done to you that squashed your feminine fire and your erotic creature? There are so many comments that get planted into a girl’s head as she grows up that will suppress her feminine nature.
Here are some common examples:
- You’re not going out of the house dressed like that!
- Keep your knees together
- Good girls don’t do those kinds of things!
- Only sluts pole dance!
- Whores enjoy sex!
- Cover yourself up, you look like a tramp!
Your sexuality and feminine nature is the POWER CENTER of your creativity… it ALL begins there … and if your sexuality is suppressed, it will block you from manifesting the goddess life you dream of!
Why?
Because you make all your decisions based on how you feel in that particular moment… and if you are not self-confident, self-assured, living your authentic truth, following your bliss and are at peace with your innate sexuality and feminine nature – your life will always feel mediocre at best.Clearing deep-rooted energetic blocks, identifying limiting beliefs and balancing your sacred energies is the key that unlocks a life of pleasure, success and infinite possibility, and I so want that for you my lovely friend.
I’d like to share this profound YouTube video with you by Sheila Kelley to prove to you the importance of getting to the root of your blocks and clearing them out. The video is long, but so worth it.[bctt tweet=”This video from @thesheilakelley made me cry for the little girl in me and you”]
When I watched this video for the first time, I wept … for the little girl in me, the little girl in you and all the little girls around the world that have lived during the last few centuries when women’s natural and innate sexuality became oppressed. Sexual oppression manifests in many ways, it could look like any or all of the following:
- Poor self-esteem and body image.
- Difficulty being free and open during sex.
- Addiction to food or other substances used to numb your reality.
- Dysfunctional relationships.
- Discontent and self-doubt.
- And much, much more.
Video link: http://youtu.be/Lrdn4lazVBc
Your Goddess Lifestyle Plan Assignment
Your assignment is to make time to think and journal about your erotic creature and feminine essence. Schedule some quiet time for yourself, light a candle, prepare a cup of your favorite tea or pour a glass of wine. Grab your journal and a comfy pen and think about the times in your life that your sexuality was attacked… the times when your feminine essence was squashed. Then think about the limiting beliefs you’ve developed because of those experiences. Dear one, it might bring up painful memories but trust me when I tell you that those emotions are best purged… better out than in.
I have done this process and I continue to think introspectively about it… today I am so very comfortable with my sexuality and feminine essence. However, from time to time I am triggered by a comment, a look or the bubbling up of old beliefs… but I’m prepared, armed with the understanding of where it comes from. The dark corners of my soul that still need some healing. This is one of the key aspects I work on with my private clients… helping them to understand their erotic creature and embrace their feminine essence in all of HER glory. My wish for you is that this assignment blesses you with deep healing and empowers you to allow your erotic creature and sexuality to have her time in the spotlight. And so it is.
And…
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I went to Catholic school and the nuns were forever hitting my shoulders because I had a bustline (I was supposed to round my shoulders so they didn’t show so much). to this day I have problems with my posture. so much for creativity and an appreciation of my body
Oh Louise, my eyes welled up reading your comment. I gave birth to my first child in a Catholic hospital at twenty two years old. The nuns insisted I try to breast feed even though I expressed that I didn’t want to… when my daughter couldn’t latch on, THEY placed plastic mushrooms on both of my nipples and after a short while came in to check on them. They pulled and pinched my nipples for what felt like an hour and after a few more unsuccessful attempts, told me that I had sub par nipples for breastfeeding. Just like that. A horrifying experience to say the least, one that took years to process and heal.
Please begin a practice of awareness by catching yourself when you round your shoulders, rolling them back and allowing your breasts to arrive to where-ever you are going two minutes before the rest of your body! <3
“No daughter of mine is going to wear “; “Act like a lady” and “You are to be seen and not heard.”
Those are my example of the common expression I heard probably daily…out of their love no doubt….but man o’ man has it taken years, like you Lisa, to combat them!!!!!
Awesome article that brings so much awareness!
Thank you so much Laura! Indeed a tough dragon to slay, but I make sure to stay aware of when I begin to dim my light, swallow my truth or dress more conservatively to make others feel comfortable. I nip that shit in the bud! LOL
This sentence struck me so deeply. “Our desire to be good girls puts us in a self-imposed prison that holds us hostage until we become liberated.”
I find it incredibly sad and frustrating that we limit our girls by telling them that a ‘good’ girl means being less than they are, and to hide their passionate selves. I love that more and more women are redefining a ‘good girl’ as one that is true to their own hearts!
I couldn’t agree more Bonnie! I’m glad my article served you dear Sister.
Oh Lisa – So true those common expressions intended to teach so impact how I viewed my life and work for so long. “No daughter of mine should do that type of work”; “What are you thinking – clearly you are not” and yes, Laura I too heard “Act like a lady” and “You are to be seen and not heard.” Thanks to all who help pave the way to stepping into awareness and an effort to change the world for those growing up now.
Thank you Cindy… I so appreciate you reading and commenting!
FABULOUS article! Right now, I am grappling with allowing my sexuality to SHINE instead of keeping it hidden under my “Mom” hair, clothes, lifestyle. I want to FREE it and live a life that honors this very important part of who I am.
Part of my belief is totally internal: MOMS shouldn’t dress/act like that. MOMS should be x,y, z. Another huge part of my suppression is from being overweight as a child and dealing with the constant comments about just how unattractive I was. I am working to heal that now.
Keep writing such wonderful and healing articles! I am definitely planning a little purge tonight, per your advice!
WHOOOO HOOOO Susan! May your healing be swift dear one. And so it is.
Even though I’m a man, I wanted to read this article and gain more insight. It’s not always easy to understand where some beliefs arise and I appreciate you sharing this, Lisa Marie. Words that are said to us, especially when we are young and more impressionable, have great weight. It’s important for everyone to do the work to become their best selves in all aspects.
Men have their own issues, very often nothing would be said to us about sexuality so we found all sorts of things in a vacuum, from peers who created all sorts of visions of sexual success being equated to aggression and conquest.
One thought about the woman who told you to cut your hair. Your judgment is that she was an unkind woman. I don’t know her and perhaps you are right. But perhaps she was trying to be helpful and just didn’t understand the means to express herself well. I think that forgiving others who sent thee messages thinking they were being helpful is better than blaming them.
Thank you for adding a comment John – I love when masculine energy shows up to balance everything. I have spent many minutes thinking about the motives of the woman who said those unkind things to me- a child… I agree with you, forgiving is always the best option. However forgiveness has many facets, it’s not one dimensional. To me forgiveness is when I no longer allow someone’s words or actions to affect my moods, my actions and my beliefs – there’s no reactivity involved. I feel neutral about the woman and to this situation. I find it fascinating to excavate and discover where beliefs come from both in myself and in others!
What a wonderful article. I know how people try to bring you down and mistreat u when they r themselves not in a happy space. Earlier I used to b reactive now iforgive n forget because I can see it’s coming from a place of fear.
Earlier I used to be reactive now I forgive and forget because I can see it’s coming from a place of fear … a beautiful insight, thank you for sharing.
This is such a wonderful article, and it seems to have found me at just the right moment. Just today I was reminded to dress modestly and be a “good girl” and this idea of staying quiet about what I feel has been something I have been struggling with for a long time. I was raised by a Catholic mother and sent to a Catholic school for 9 years. I am now a senior in high school and still constantly feel as if I am struggling with the ideas of being free to feel whatever I want. So often (today included) I am told what to wear, how to act, and what a “good Catholic” believes and does. Stumbling upon this blog tonight has brought me to tears. For a long time I’ve been desperately struggling with feelings of guilt simply for believing something a little different from the way I was raised. Just knowing that I am not completely alone has brought a sense of comfort. Your writing literally radiates kindness and positivity. Thank you so much for writing this!
You are most welcome sweet Mary Katherine. I wish you many abundant blessings on your journey dear one.